I do love your baby... but NOT at the Wedding.


So this week we have really been focusing our wedding attentions to the invites... A daunting task to say the least. However, I do have to give some wedding love to my ever wonderful fiance for being very proactive and a huge part of the creating, designing, and selection of our invites! He and his dad have been working really hard on getting the wording, layout, etc just perfect for the last few weeks. Which brings me to the question of the day! How do I word...

 "Don't bring your baby to my wedding! I don't want it screaming and interrupting our ceremony, and I don't want to pay $50 a head for a 2 year old to eat a dinner roll", in a nice way and according to etiquette?

I realize that I may sound like a completely crazy bridezilla. So for that... I am kind of sorry. However, I stand firm in my decision that if your baby cannot drive itself to the ceremony/reception, or if it is not carrying a ring bearer pillow or throwing rose petals down the aisle...it's not invited. If your baby cannot hold its own fork to feed itself, or you still have to hide knives from it at the dinner table, or if it can't have a bourbon and diet...its likely not invited. Now, the bourbon and diet thing is questionable. # 1 because some parents might think boozing up your baby for sedation purposes/ "the sore gums from teething" wise tale is ok. And #2 some adults we are inviting really shouldn't be allowed to have bourbon/wine/alcohol of any kind past 2 bevys, but that's a completely different kind of baby.

Don't get me wrong people, there is a high likelihood that I love your baby and I too think your baby is precious and the most wonderful thing in the world. I know you think your baby won't cry during our ceremony because it is, "SO GOOD!, She/He never makes a peep in public places!" I am sure you are completely outraged at my stance on you not bringing your precious little angel because of their "always" good behavior. I know better folks. Let's say for a moment that your judgment is slightly clouded...perhaps the sound of your baby crying/ga-ga-goo-gooing has become almost like static white noise in your mind. Or maybe you are so sleep deprived from the constant crying you think only 10 minutes of crying is like no noise at all. What you may think is a very quiet and minuet coo is in fact a noise loud enough during the ceremony to prompt me...in wedding gown/full hair and make up, mid vows... to turn and stink eye you in my fit of fury regarding your little muffins noises! Embarrassing? Unnecessary? Easily Avoidable? YES on ALLLLLLLL accounts! (A word to the wise, in case any of our guests miss the memo or aren't able to understand wedding invite etiquette, we have back up. My brother the baby bouncer :).)

I realize its hard to come by a big event where all your distant friends and relatives may be in the same place at the same time since your little bundle of joy has graced the earth with its presence. I completely understand the need to show your baby off to everyone so they can dote and oggle and "oh aren't they grand" all over your mini miracle. Our wedding is NOT that day darlings. That's what birthdays are for! When you want your baby to be showcased have it a little birthday bash. I'll make the cake, I'll arrange for the petting zoo, I'll be your baby party planning extraordinaire. I will come with bells and whistles on to celebrate your baby and every inch of its fantasticness. I LOVE your baby...but not at our nuptials friends! The only persons being showcased on OUR day will be US!

This may be selfish, you may hate my stinking guts for a little while. I think you and I both know we will both sleep better at night knowing that I wont have to stink eye you in my wedding dress mid "I do". For those of you that know me well... you know this would happen. I'm not above stopping the ceremony for a "do-over" while you and your baby sneak out the back door to avoid the bride's evil eye. Don't make me do this...get a babysitter, have some drinks, and meet me on the dance floor. :)

Cheers and Kisses,
A Future MRS.


  1. LOL I laughed outloud so loud when you said the stink eye :) too funny! cant wait for the big day! ps um can you look at my blog? im pretty sure you arent a follower and I'm kinda sad about it :( lol

  2. i support this stance whole heartedly. when you figure out how to word it, please let me know. i don't want babies, toddlers, or anyone of the toys and video games will be brought to occupy you sort at my wedding either. i've been thinking for a long time about how to word that...please post when decided!

  3. I'm not even engaged yet and I died reading this! I'm so with you, though. A parent that I know has a rule that if a restaurant doesn't offer a kid's menu, it's not kid-friendly. Same should apply to weddings, IMO!

  4. I totally agree! I just got married last July and since our venue was rather small, then we opted not to have kids either. We did make the rule that only nieces and nephews were invited (which was no biggie since they were all pretty much in the wedding party anyway). We just used the rule that if their name is NOT on the inside invite envelope then people should realize no kids. So if a couple with kids got one the inside just said "Jake and Jill" and not the wee ones. This actually worked and no unsuspecting kiddos got the boot... lols I kid. But really it did work, and we also relied on close friends and family to spread it by word of mouth. Sorry so long... I guess I have a lot to say! Cute blog BTW!

  5. I am sooo with you on this! Babies do not belong at weddings. Hire a babysitter.

  6. Girls!!! SO glad to hear your responses! It made me laugh to read them all! I was worried my "no kiddos" stance might make people mad! Im glad I have some other ladies on my side! They only kids invited to our wedding our the ones in the wedding party because they are part of our immediate family...not Uncle Jims, bosses 3 year old who needed to come share in the magic of matrimony! hahaha

  7. We were told that a polite way of implying you don't want children or babies is to use an inner envelope to write exactly who in that family is invited. Say Clint and I have a baby/child (which won't happen for several years! lol). Just write "The Combs Family" on outter envelope then ONLY "Clint and Catherine" on inner envelope. People should know that those are the only ones in that family invited because it clearly specifies. It worked for us! No babies or children showed up at ours and that's exactly how we wanted it! Another suggestion (this is what my brother did)....on the reply card write "3 invited.... _ attending". That way they know how many are invited and they write how many are attending. Hope this helps! Love this post! Totally made me giggle :) We felt the exact same way!

  8. We did the same thing that Clint & Cat did. You know I was strongly against paying $50+/head for a 4 year old to drink 2 sprites and a chicken tender. Did I step on a few toes while excluding the munchkins? Yes. Would I do it again? In a heart beat. At the end of the day, it is YOUR DAY. People getting their panties in a knot over not having their children there is just plain selfish. They did it their way on their wedding day. You do it your way on yours. Simple as that. LOVE YOU!
    ps- I'm not above kicking people out if they violate this rule. I'll be the mean bridesmaid. I'm not scared :) xoxoxo

  9. hahahah I have no doubt you would enjoy ever moment of bouncing every crying toddler outta that place Caroline. Thats why youre a super friend! :) Great tips ladies! We will make a point to specify who is invited on their response cards! :)

  10. I had the same issues...we made the RSVPs out to individuals. Same with the addressing of the envelopes. we would address it to Mr. & Mrs. John Smith -- not Smith Family. On the RSVP card (pita but worth it) we LISTED the guests invited:
    Mr Storytelling accepts/declines
    Ms Storytelling accepts/delines
    that way is was very cut and dry as to who was being invited.

    Good luck girl!!
    OH and we found a reputable babysitter and advertised her services to anyone who didn't want to leave little Johnny at home but knew they shouldn't be at the wedding. that seemed to quell a lot of outrage.

  11. We did the same thing!! Its not that I don't love kids or anything, I just thought that the may take away from the ceremony...and really, the last thing I wanted was some little kid screaming in the middle of it all. Of course they are adorable and can make for some amazing pictures...but, to me...they were just another mouth to feed:)

  12. I totally agree with this post. Babies don't belong at weddings. That's a night to hire a sitter people!

    Two good options:

    1. Specifying exactly who is invited on the invitations. Even if you address the outer envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" some people seem to believe that means "plus child." Address the inner envelope to John and Jane Smith.

    2. The Knot suggests having a statement like "We've reserved 2 seats in your name" on your response card. Or making sure the response card has M__________ & M _________ will/will not attend. This lets them write in their name and date's name but obviously leaves no room for baby! And politely lets them know you'll only be feeding the two of them.

  13. Ladies! These pearls of wedding wisdom bring me so much bliss! Thanks for sharing some great reception card advice with me!!!! Much much much appreciated! :)

  14. This is my favorite post EVER!!!! I love it! One because you had me cracking up but two, you said what everyone wants to say but doesn't have the guts to!! You are the hero of brides everywhere :) Oh and PS I pink-puffy-heart that you said "I will stink eye you" hehe :)

  15. i couldn't agree more. you're an amazing write. Super happy I found your blog. I'm a new follower, I hope you will as well. I started my blog a little over a month ago. It's all about celebrity fashion from the point of view of an LA stylist. Stop by to see multiple post a day on all the latest celebrity fashion news and check out pictures from the fall/winter preview I attended yesterday in Beverly Hills. Would love your support. xoxo


  16. I one hundred percent agree with you. As everyone else has said, you can address the invitations to ONLY who you want invited to the wedding.

    A couple of ideas that people I know have done, but you don't have to do, they were being extremely thoughtful. A teenager and a couple of her friends that were family friends, babysit a bunch of the kids at a house close by, I believe it was the grooms parent's house. That way the kids were close but not at the wedding with people trusted by the family. The bride and groom gave the girls a present.

    Someone else I know asked their venue if they would make the plates for the children cheaper and with kid friendly food.

    BUT as a lot of other people said it is your DAY do what you want and what fits your budget.

    Can't wait to hear your decision. LOVE your blog!

  17. GIRLS! Thanks so much for the bloggy love! I am so glad to know I am not the only gal n the world who feels this way! I'll have an update soon on how it went over! :)

  18. JUST came across your blog, and I love it! Consider me your newest follower! This was tricky for me to deal with too - we wanted no kids AT ALL at our wedding last year. I posted a nice little message on our wedding website - we had a lot of out-of-staters so we knew people were using our website for info like crazy and were sure to see it. You can see how I worded it here if you like: http://www.mywedding.com/caseyanderic/custom5.html

  19. I am sooo glad someone else feels the way I do!! We have made a lot of family members angry because underage children/teenagers are not allowed at our ceremony and/or reception!! I have finally come to the realization that it doesn't matter what they think, we are paying for it not them! If they have a problem they dont have to come and can mail us a gift! lol thank you so much for sharing!