Good at Heart?


Sometimes as I go through times of difficulty it causes me to wonder whether people are truly good at heart or whether good behavior comes from a selfish need to get a "thank you" or a pat on the back for good deeds. I really want and strive to believe that deep down people are innately good, kind, and genuine. However, these qualities are very different from being self-less, honest, and moral. I think finding true selflessness in someone is one of the rarest qualities, but to me is one that people should covet and strive the most to be. Recently I have experienced several disheartening things from people close to me, close to my family, and people in my family have experience some difficulties as well... i.e. my family members and some of my closest friends.

For me personally, realizing a person I trusted and thought was a friend actually isn't trust worthy, genuine or selfless in the least. Instead I found her to be selfish, backstabbing, and ultimately she was only looking out for herself. I guess sometimes its good to learn the things early on. You know before you've invested too much in the friendship to recover your losses later. I would compare my reaction to betrayal of any kind to Kristen's description here. Overall, I'm done with you...you no longer exist to me. If I pass you on the street don't bother to say 'Hi' because one of 2 things will happen depending on who you are 1.) I will ignore completely and you will for sure be embarrassed because I will make it super awkward or 2.) I will ninja chop you in the throat if you have done something completely unthinkable. I'm still up in the air on my course of action for our first encounter post break-up of friendship for this particular instance...

For my family... struggling with issues work work to marriage. My brother's wife was gone, came back, and is now gone again. With all of her comings and goings, my brother would likely still tell you today that he loves her and wants her to be happy. Rather selfless, rather genuine, very kind and good. My mom has had a streak of bad luck that just continues to follow her. Stresses of work, of kids (although grown), projects, of planning, of life happening. To me, my mom is one of the absolute most honest, true, and selfless people in the world. She's good and moral and ethical and always always tries to do the right thing. Its because of her that I want to always believe that people, even those molded, bittered, and engrossed in things negative, start out in life with goodness in their heart. I think life circumstances occur and may change or make someone become less good, less moral, and more out for their own rewards in life, but they still have buried inside them the ability to think about someone else ahead of themselves. Ultimately the person has to make that choice for themselves, because after all God gave each of us free will.

For my friends... A very close gal pal of mine has been struggling for the last month + with her fiance calling off their wedding. Not only the end of a 5 year relationship, but of her dreams of the life she wanted to have together, with him. If you knew this friend you would love her. Shes gorgeous from the inside of her heart to the lovely blonde hair on her head. A man will meet her in the very near future, I'm sure, and sweep her completely off her feet and give her a love like she had never known or dreamed of having. I'm positive of this. After all this happening to her she has said to me that even though she is hurt, she still cares deeply for this man who hurt her. Sounds pretty good at heart to me, sounds pretty selfless to me. Its friends like her who help make me believe that people are good at heart.

Perhaps then its love that makes people good to their core. Not necessarily love for another specifically, but maybe a love for life, a love for humanity, a love for things unseen, unknown... unrequited. Possibly a love unrequited is the answer to it all. Never a need for reciprocation, but instead, it just exists to create good in us all.

Well enough of my ponderings for today, Happy Thursday!!


  1. I know what you mean! I have had the same ponderings! Have a good day! :)

  2. Very well said post I vote for Ninja Chopping! I just had this happen with two of my close friends who are no longer my close friends for your same reasons.

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  4. Im kinda leaning towards the ninja chop option myself...haha Thanks for reading girlies! Sometimes I just need to vent to my bloggy friends! :)

  5. Let me just say first and foremost- you write reallllly beautifully.

    Second - about the friend, I've been there and back (just last year and this SAME exact time last year in October was burned, by someone who I thought would be in my future wedding party lineup...not so.) People will eventually show you their true colors one way or another.

    Third- Your mommy sounds like mine! Mine is thee most self-less woman, caring, hard-working, puts her family first and foremost over work or ANYTHING, basically she makes me strive to be thee best person I can possibly be but no matter how hard I try, I KNOW I will never come close to being her!. I hope/know that things will turn around for you and your family woes....they always do :)

    Have a great day girlfriend!!

  6. Thanks so much Jess! It is always really shocking when things like that happen. I was talking to one of my friends this weekend and I think we figured it out...a little. Some people are really loyal. In friendship, in love, in work, and in who they are as a person they build relationships based on loyalty. Some people don't have that same personality when developing bonds with others. Thats why sometimes we are shocked when they backstab and betray what we considered a good friendship. Odd...but kinda makes sense.

    Moms are amazing! Its weird how you come to a certain age and realize they really do know it all! :)

  7. I agree-I don't think people truly learn to be self-less until they actually experience love.
    that is crazy about your sister-in-law, it sounds like she has quite a bit of growing up to do. It sounds like you're doing the right thing by just crossing that friend off your list--drama and selfishness are completely unnecessary.

  8. Thanks Lauren! My soon to be EX sister in law is a nut job! I am excited to see where my brother finds his true love. I pray its very soon!