Sometimes as I go through times of difficulty it causes me to wonder whether people are truly good at heart or whether good behavior comes from a selfish need to get a "thank you" or a pat on the back for good deeds. I really want and strive to believe that deep down people are innately good, kind, and genuine. However, these qualities are very different from being self-less, honest, and moral. I think finding true selflessness in someone is one of the rarest qualities, but to me is one that people should covet and strive the most to be. Recently I have experienced several disheartening things from people close to me, close to my family, and people in my family have experience some difficulties as well... i.e. my family members and some of my closest friends.
For me personally, realizing a person I trusted and thought was a friend actually isn't trust worthy, genuine or selfless in the least. Instead I found her to be selfish, backstabbing, and ultimately she was only looking out for herself. I guess sometimes its good to learn the things early on. You know before you've invested too much in the friendship to recover your losses later. I would compare my reaction to betrayal of any kind to Kristen's description here. Overall, I'm done with you...you no longer exist to me. If I pass you on the street don't bother to say 'Hi' because one of 2 things will happen depending on who you are 1.) I will ignore completely and you will for sure be embarrassed because I will make it super awkward or 2.) I will ninja chop you in the throat if you have done something completely unthinkable. I'm still up in the air on my course of action for our first encounter post break-up of friendship for this particular instance...
For my family... struggling with issues work work to marriage. My brother's wife was gone, came back, and is now gone again. With all of her comings and goings, my brother would likely still tell you today that he loves her and wants her to be happy. Rather selfless, rather genuine, very kind and good. My mom has had a streak of bad luck that just continues to follow her. Stresses of work, of kids
For my friends... A very close gal pal of mine has been struggling for the last month + with her fiance calling off their wedding. Not only the end of a 5 year relationship, but of her dreams of the life she wanted to have together, with him. If you knew this friend you would love her. Shes gorgeous from the inside of her heart to the lovely blonde hair on her head. A man will meet her in the very near future, I'm sure, and sweep her completely off her feet and give her a love like she had never known or dreamed of having. I'm positive of this. After all this happening to her she has said to me that even though she is hurt, she still cares deeply for this man who hurt her. Sounds pretty good at heart to me, sounds pretty selfless to me. Its friends like her who help make me believe that people are good at heart.
Perhaps then its love that makes people good to their core. Not necessarily love for another specifically, but maybe a love for life, a love for humanity, a love for things unseen, unknown... unrequited. Possibly a love unrequited is the answer to it all. Never a need for reciprocation, but instead, it just exists to create good in us all.
Well enough of my ponderings for today, Happy Thursday!!
